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“Stress never comes directly from your circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”
“Stress never comes directly from your circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”
This month it is National Stress Awareness Day on the 6th of November. I thought it might be an idea to investigate what stress actually is and if it is bothering you, what to do about it.
So, what is stress? According to the Oxford Dictionary it is:
pressure or tension exerted on a material object
a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances
Another definition found is “Stress can be defined as any type of change that causes physical, emotional, or psychological strain. Stress is your body’s response to anything that requires attention or action.”
And that brings us to the following – is all stress bad? Of course not! As usual with all emotions, they are neither good nor bad, they just are (I know, stress itself is not really an emotion, but bear with me), however comfortable or uncomfortable it feels. The latter definition tells all; something requires attention or action! Stress (like any other emotion) can be helpful or unhelpful. It is helpful when it is helping you action things, it is unhelpful when it becomes overwhelming, and you get ‘stuck’.
Symptoms of stress can be defined in four categories: Physical, Emotional, Cognitive and Behavioural.
Physical Symptoms of Stress:
Low energy
Headaches
Upset stomach, including diarrhoea, constipation, and nausea
Aches, pains, and tense muscles
Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
Insomnia
Frequent colds and infections
Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear, cold or sweaty hands and feet
Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing
Clenched jaw and grinding teeth
Emotional Symptoms of Stress:
Becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody
Feeling overwhelmed, like you are losing control or need to take control
Having difficulty relaxing and quieting your mind
Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), lonely, worthless, and depressed
Avoiding others
Cognitive Symptoms of Stress:
Constant worrying
Racing thoughts
Forgetfulness and disorganization
Inability to focus
Poor judgment
Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side
Behavioural Symptoms of Stress:
Changes in appetite — either not eating or eating too much
Procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities
Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes
Exhibiting more nervous behaviours, such as nail biting, fidgeting, and pacing
Source: WebMD
So, what do we do with so-called Stress Management? Well, we usually start with treating the symptoms – some of them are easier to treat than others. We start with self-compassion, being kind to self and taking care of ourselves to enable stress relief (and sometimes you just have to start by stomping it out, run a mile, do some air-boxing as the pent-up anxious energy will have to get out of your body before you can be kind to yourself).
In therapy we look at the underlying thoughts and emotions of your stress; where do these self-defeating beliefs come from, can we defuse from these unhelpful thoughts, have there been times that you have been able to deal (better) with these stressors, how can we keep working towards our goals, living directions according to our own values?
I am not saying all the stress in the world will ever go away, I cannot promise you that you will never feel stressed again.
Thank you, Andrew Bernstein, drilling down, finding my own underlying self-beliefs, my own blinkered stuck-ness, has helped me gain a different perspective and with practicing my insight I definitely feel less stressed!
Kirsty x
November 2021
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